February 15, 2020
So this is my very first blog post ever. I’ve talked myself out of doing this time and time again. “I don’t have the time.” “No one will read it.” “What can I share that hasn’t been shared before?” This was fear talking guys. I’ve let fear speak for me for far too long and I am tired of it. (That will be another blog for another day. Brace yourself for that one, my little muffins!) Today, I wanted to talk about the WHY behind our business. I wanted to talk about what drives us and what fuels the fire to keep pressing on even if it can be scary. I want to talk about the little things in life.
Comparison, Mowing the Lawn, and Love
In 2017 when I started this brand I played the ole comparison game pretty hard and let me tell you, I was quite the player. Countless hours spent worrying about my work, flipping through page after page on Instagram, criticizing my editing style, wondering why I wasn’t booking like everyone else seemed to be, and making sure I was LEGALLY doing everything correctly, left me drained and worried to even keep doing photography. At this point Tommy and I had been married for about 2 years and to be honest, that newly wed phase was in full force. We were both balancing FULL time day jobs, trying to get this photography business off the ground, learning how to be a husband and wife, taking care of a dog and home ( Ya’ll I had to learn how to push mow!), and all the while still trying to nourish friendships and our relationship. Of course it was a lot, but we enjoyed every. single. second. Why? What made this crazy chaos fun?
The Part with the Dental Career
During the day at my job at a Family Dental Clinic I would catch myself in the middle of procedures smiling or even day dreaming for just a second about something my husband did that day or that week. I’d catch myself thinking about how he does his “Nick Miller Face” when he’s had it with my sass. Or when he laughs WAY TOO loud with his brother over the silliest of Adam Sandler Quotes. And how when he is sleepy he immediately becomes a squinty eyed toddler with messy blonde hair. Tommy does this thing when I get angry about something or maybe I’ve just had a hard day, where he puts his hands under my armpits and pretends to lift me up like a little kid and goes “shhhh”. You guys, I am 5’2″ on a good day…so yes, I am tiny. This action makes me laugh so hard. Being married is fun. It’s the most fun thing I have ever done. Marriage isn’t crazy, LIFE IS. It’s beautiful messy chaos that you get to tackle with your best friend.
I’d quickly snap out of my day dream and back to the 3 Surface Filling needing my attention, but that split second would get me through the rest of the morning. I realized that these little things brought me so much joy. My love language is “Words of Affirmation” so grand gestures and big gifts aren’t really my jam personally. But these little moments; these tiny slivers of happiness, would give me all the fuel I needed to have a better mindset. After speaking with a few friends and family I realized most people really do enjoy the simple things in life as much as media and the social constructs of our society try to convince us otherwise. How could I bring more of “this” to the people I surround myself with?
“What is being in love like?”
A little time passed, and one day I got a text from a friend. Now, we text nearly every single day, but this text was different. The only thing the text said was ” What is being in love like?” I was floored because for a second I didn’t know what to say. Then I started thinking about all the little things and I sent her this poem I wrote on the spot for reply.
“Love is like walking over a shirt he just took off and feeling the warmth under your feet. It’s like finding a shoe box full of things you collected when you were 5. It’s like watching dust particles dance in the light shining through your grandma’s kitchen window. It’s like the smell of your dad’s workshop and the way your hands feel sifting through bird seed. Love is like climbing an apple tree. Its like sewing on a button and shining up silver kettles.”
We had a long text convo and happy cried and carried on with our day.
Our Earliest Concepts of Experiencing Love
A few days later I reached out to all my friends and asked them to finish the statement ” Love is…” with whatever they felt to be true. I asked them to not be cliche and really think about their earliest concept of love. It didn’t have to be romantic. My jaw dropped at the statements I got back and tears streamed down my face. I got responses like:
“Love is…wearing your dads old jacket and feeling the spaces inside”
“Love is…hearing your grandfather hum a song you know he doesn’t remember the words to anymore”
“Love is…cold feet under a warm butt”
“Love is… homemade recipe cards”
These Moments are Bigger Than Us
If you notice on our website there are words overlaying some of the photographs on each page. These are the statements from people I care about the most in this world. These are from people I love dearly and I want to share them with you. In the wedding industry we usually focus on this “new love” between the bride and groom, and though that is extremely important, I feel like we lose sight of the other types of love that flourish around us. Wedding days are important and the love shown there is key, but what about all the moments leading up to this couple falling in love? All the slices in time where you were learning how to love growing up? These are the things we can’t lose in the chaos of life. All these moments can inhabit every single day of our lives if we allow them to. They cling to the people we shared them with and hang in moments of time. If we are lucky we get one or two days where all the people we love come together in one location. We can laugh and hold them tightly. We can remember our time as children when all these people were a little taller and their hands bore less wrinkles. We can hug them and kiss them along side the person we’ve chosen to share this life with.
We can enjoy the simple things in life.
We can really focus on what ” Love is…”
I’m speechless and that almost never happens! This was good it makes me want to reconnect with the creative part of me that has been buried in the busy. It makes want slow down and enjoy a “slice of time” with all those I love.
I’m looking forward to when we are all in the room together.